Wednesday, April 26, 2017

The Virtue Of Respect



The thing about virtue is that it is not objective. It is a factor of culture and era, per se the year referring to or under consideration. If it was the 1500s the morality would vary from what it is in 2017. Across the globe, the virtues that people believe in changes. However, in the current age of globalism, the virtue of humans is approaching a saturation point. We more or less have the same kind of morals in society, nowadays. It is not quite a lot segregated as people believe it to be, at least for the younger people. The internet age is helping in ideas come together and irate into an optimal moral code. On a second thought, the current polarity the world makes me think, umm maybe not. Maybe we are more divided than ever. 

Growing up I was often told to, respect my elders. So I obliged and paid my "due" regard to people who were older than me. As a grown up now, I found myself questioning should respect be granted based on age?  Respect: a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. It is not the same as a courtesy or a good behaviour towards someone. One may say it is the same, but then why should it be limited to elders? Isn't that how we should behave by default? In this post, I am digging into the "Respect your elders" virtue that we teach children. Is it the right approach? Do all the people older than me deserve my respect by default? No!


Politeness is a sign of civility. That should be taught to children irrespective of age. I have been "respectful" towards many people who did not deserve my respect. Now, when I look back to such people from the perspective of an adult, I find it obscure to fathom what I was told to do. From my adult judgment, some of those people were plainly grown up bullies to the younger me.  As a matter of fact, I am still in the process of unlearning that my respect is not depending on the fact that someone has spent more years than me on the planet. 

This idea of default respect is a breeding ground to tame people into submission. Children should be taught to behave nicely with everyone, irrespective of age. The underlying idea of taming a child to curb the questioning to authority is unhealthy. We should, on the contrary, make them question the authority. Respect/listen/obey the elders are kind of a classical conditioning, which makes docile adults for the authoritative society. Why would we want that for the future generations? It is dormant, even regressive. 

Respect has to be earned! It shouldn't be a product of relative ages. Everyone has had one of those mean aunt /uncles, a cantankerous old man in the neighbourhood or bully older cousins/siblings. A child should be made aware of the fact that not every older person is to be respected. They should be taught to retaliate and reject the bad authorities. I don't demand the people younger than me to respect me! That would be insanely obnoxious of me. I rather believe in mutual politeness and earned respect.
  
Do you respect people based on age or do you believe, respect has to be earned? Let me know in the comment section below.


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12 comments:

  1. Hi Karnika, I feel respect is earned and as for respecting one's elders ... bwaahahaha. The elders I respected in younger years did not deserve respect and I am thankful in our culture at least that seems no longer to apply. If I want to be treated with respect it ought to be on the way I treat others and live y life rather than my age. Great post and good stuff for pondering on. Visiting from A-Z Blogging :) Linda

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    1. I totally agree! Glad you liked the post.
      Thanks for stopping by, Linda. :)

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  2. I was taught to treat everyone with respect until they showed youbthey weren't worthy of your respect - kind of like innocent before being proved guilty. This has worked for me. This isn't based on age, status, or anything else. Just based on them and their actions.

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    1. That is how believe it should be! Treating everyone with civility.
      While growing up, at lest here in India, "respect the elders" is quite a common moral teaching. Now, as a grown up I don't think it should be bases on age...
      Thanks for stopping by! :)

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  3. Respect is earned for sure but as a child the conditioning that one gets stays for a long time. As an adult it takes a while to shrug that off and get into deciding for myself who deserves it or not. But as a general rule politeness and regard is offered at the first go and respect comes later.

    ​Vanillabeans & Peppercorns

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    1. Yes, I agree, Shalini. Politeness is a mark of civility irrespective of if I have respect for some one or not ... I would still be polite. The respect based on having few more year in age can't be a fair trade for worthiness of the same.
      Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  4. Respect has to be earned. Well said.
    I think the conditioning starts from a very tender age and i guess kids learn from their elders too.
    Thanks for sharing

    A Peice Of My Life

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    1. Yes It is only taught... I would much rather teach politeness as a given for everyone to my future child/children.
      Glad to have you here. Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  5. Interesting thoughts for our times. I am appalled at the lack of mutual respect we see in society. Sure, to a degree respect should be earned, but it is something that should be automatically granted upon first encounters and ongoing in relationships.

    I try to be nice to everyone and deliver a polite demeanor as much as I can. We don't know what's going on in the mind and the life of the stranger we meet. Maybe providing a person with a show of respect will lift them up and provide them an impetus to pass on some modicum of respect and kindness to someone they meet on their journey of life struggle.

    If I'm not getting respect from someone else then I try to move on as quickly as I can and stay out of their way in the future. I often wonder what's going on inside of those who are rude, mean, and disrespectful, but it's not up to me to make an active campaign to change attitudes--it's one smile, one nice word, or one kind deed at a time. If more people were working together to make the world better, the world would get better. But I'm not holding my breath waiting for that to happen.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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    1. I agree on respect should be earned, but politeness should be a general conduct. You briefed it up perfectly, Lee.
      Thanks for stopping by! :)

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  6. I extend a certain level of respect to everyone I meet until they prove they don't deserve it.
    Then I try to distance myself from them.
    Perspectives at Life & Faith in Caneyhead

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    1. That is a great way to go, BarBara! I think it shouldn't be a factor of age or any status for that matter.
      Thanks! for stopping by :)

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