What were you wearing?
Why were you outside during odd hours?
Were you drunk?
Did you provoke them by flirting?
Did you explicitly say "NO"?
Rape Culture
A set of social behaviors perpetuating: victim blaming, sexual objectification, trivializing rape, denial of widespread rape, refusing to acknowledge the harm caused by some forms of sexual violence, or some combination of these.
So, why is rape culture harmful? It is quite evident, but let me break it down anyway.
It Protects Sexual Predators
A major drawback of "boys will be boys" stereotyping is that it protects the sexual predator. It is often said in the "rape culture" that a man cannot "control" his sexual urges. Far from the truth, this school of thought perpetuates more crime and normalizes the offense. It is often presented as an excuse by the society in the cases of rape offenses. Such excuses Invite more crime and make the offense seem Not-A-Big-Deal in the perception of the potential rapist.
It Fuels Misogyny
Another very common argument that I find people making while condemning sexual assault is "She is someone's sister, daughter, girlfriend ... ". I find this argument cringe-worthy because it absolutely takes away the "self" from an individual and makes her a possession of some male personal. It is abhorrent, moreover, people who make such statements fail to realize that the victim has her own conscious and feeling. Making it about the man (yet again) and feeling sorry for that man is insanely illogical!
It hinders with the Justice
The sexual offender is often pardoned on the grounds that the victim was "asking for it". The simple idea of which is revolting, It deprive the victim of getting Justice. Arguments on whether she was "asking for it" is often based on "If she fought back or not". The bruises on her body are taken as the mark of resistance. The lack of bruises is taken as an indication of no resistance and hence, it is "consensual"!
Victim Is Made To Internalizes The Blame And Guilt
It is unlikely for anyone to understand what goes on in the mind of a sexual assault survivor. But, the sense of violation is undeniable. The deeply integrated rape culture does effect victim as an individual, the victim often regards the violation as their own fault and do not report the crime. If someone comes out to you about sexual assault, support them.
It Trivialise Rape
More then often rape culture brings in the victim's sexuality and "promiscuity" as an excuse. It is often considered that if a woman is "promiscuous" she is not "respectable" enough and is "asking for it". Thus violating her is not as bad as violating a prudent woman. Making rape a matter-of-fact and common occurrence in society and denying it the seriousness and attention it requires.
It Is Assumed To Be Distant Crime
Two third of rapist are people victims know before the assault takes place. It is often regarded that a rapist is a man hiding in bushes in the dark waiting for a potential victim to pass by, but unfortunately, it is not so. One of such conflicting case is the "legal" Marital Rape. Another way Rape is normalized is by comparing it in a manner of statistics. I often read people arguing on social media about where more rapes occur and pat their own backs if it is not in their Nation or State. Especially when it is a known fact that all rapes do not get reported. I find such chest thumping comparison repugnant, for obvious reasons.
Inarguably there are many pointers that can be included in the above section. However, I am not intending to go on about the same. The bottom line is that Rape Culture does not prevent the rape but normalizes it. If a Rape survivor intends to alert the authority he/she must collect the evidence against their perpetrator, if they wait too long then the "authenticity" of it being a rape gets suspicious in the jury.
Unlearning the Victim Blaming and eliminating the Rape Culture is one of the much-needed approaches to assure safety and security. Misogyny has to be demolished if we must assure elimination of Rape Culture. But, most of all, teaching consent is very crucial to reduce the sexual violations. To know more about Consent visit here
A major drawback of "boys will be boys" stereotyping is that it protects the sexual predator. It is often said in the "rape culture" that a man cannot "control" his sexual urges. Far from the truth, this school of thought perpetuates more crime and normalizes the offense. It is often presented as an excuse by the society in the cases of rape offenses. Such excuses Invite more crime and make the offense seem Not-A-Big-Deal in the perception of the potential rapist.
It Fuels Misogyny
Another very common argument that I find people making while condemning sexual assault is "She is someone's sister, daughter, girlfriend ... ". I find this argument cringe-worthy because it absolutely takes away the "self" from an individual and makes her a possession of some male personal. It is abhorrent, moreover, people who make such statements fail to realize that the victim has her own conscious and feeling. Making it about the man (yet again) and feeling sorry for that man is insanely illogical!
It hinders with the Justice
The sexual offender is often pardoned on the grounds that the victim was "asking for it". The simple idea of which is revolting, It deprive the victim of getting Justice. Arguments on whether she was "asking for it" is often based on "If she fought back or not". The bruises on her body are taken as the mark of resistance. The lack of bruises is taken as an indication of no resistance and hence, it is "consensual"!
Victim Is Made To Internalizes The Blame And Guilt
It is unlikely for anyone to understand what goes on in the mind of a sexual assault survivor. But, the sense of violation is undeniable. The deeply integrated rape culture does effect victim as an individual, the victim often regards the violation as their own fault and do not report the crime. If someone comes out to you about sexual assault, support them.
It Trivialise Rape
More then often rape culture brings in the victim's sexuality and "promiscuity" as an excuse. It is often considered that if a woman is "promiscuous" she is not "respectable" enough and is "asking for it". Thus violating her is not as bad as violating a prudent woman. Making rape a matter-of-fact and common occurrence in society and denying it the seriousness and attention it requires.
It Is Assumed To Be Distant Crime
Two third of rapist are people victims know before the assault takes place. It is often regarded that a rapist is a man hiding in bushes in the dark waiting for a potential victim to pass by, but unfortunately, it is not so. One of such conflicting case is the "legal" Marital Rape. Another way Rape is normalized is by comparing it in a manner of statistics. I often read people arguing on social media about where more rapes occur and pat their own backs if it is not in their Nation or State. Especially when it is a known fact that all rapes do not get reported. I find such chest thumping comparison repugnant, for obvious reasons.
Inarguably there are many pointers that can be included in the above section. However, I am not intending to go on about the same. The bottom line is that Rape Culture does not prevent the rape but normalizes it. If a Rape survivor intends to alert the authority he/she must collect the evidence against their perpetrator, if they wait too long then the "authenticity" of it being a rape gets suspicious in the jury.
Unlearning the Victim Blaming and eliminating the Rape Culture is one of the much-needed approaches to assure safety and security. Misogyny has to be demolished if we must assure elimination of Rape Culture. But, most of all, teaching consent is very crucial to reduce the sexual violations. To know more about Consent visit here
Asking For it by Louise O'Neill, check out my review in the video below
(A Must read on Rape Culture)
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Thanks for writing this very necessary post. A sobering thought first thing in the morning. Rape culture is so predominant in India particularly that it's disgusting. I mean the law doesn't even recognise marital rape.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, much needed awareness! The disregard of marital rape as a crime by law is deeply disturbing. Violation is violating after all. Moreover, the grounds on which the legality of marital rape is based is detestable.
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Excellent post. It's infuriating to see and hear the way people talk sometimes. I'm raising my son without the "boys will be boys" expectation and already teaching him about consent at 4 years old (it's not just for sex!).
ReplyDeleteI agree it is infuriating! I am glad to know that you are raising your child without the dogmas of so called "boys will be boys", I intent to do the same. :)
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I am in my 60's. I was so hopeful my generation could eliminate this. Obviously, we failed. I will wish that for the next generations to come. At least now, it can be publically discussed. That's a step forward. Alana ramblinwitham.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteI hope for the same, sadly Rape Culture is historically engraved in our society and need and active iteration. Let's hope for a better future.
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Very important points highlighted, but the biggest challenge is still we are unable to change it. I really appreciate the strong words you are raising, hope it really impacts the rapists.
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Changing the mind-set of Victim blaming is much needed, indeed. Hope the society starts to displace the blame form the victims to the real offenders. I believe next generation should be educated about consent and should not be introduced to the misogynistic rape culture.
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Mindsets, I tell you it is all about upbringing and mindsets! This closed jam-jar low-thinking mentality has to change! Next heavy punishment! And of course awareness and education through some really brilliant posts like this!
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Totally agree, it is about upbringing and mindset. The rape culture is inflicted by the society and is learned via society. It has to be changed.
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