DAD! GIVE ME MY WINGS BACK...

 I was born with wings!

It’s the part of story told by my father, when I was too young to think logically!

I was told,

 I was given to my parents by the fairies. On my birthday the fairies came to see my elder sister, as she was also given to my parents by them only. I was with them. At the time when we i.e. me and the fairies were going back I got really sad and wanted to stay with my elder sister. So the fairies left me over and told my dad to take care of me.

As I had wings, it was really difficult for my father to take care of us with wings! He at that time took off my wings and kept it safe at the same place where he had kept my sisters wings!

From that day onwards I was asking for my wings all the time.

But I was always denied.

My dad said “if I will give you your wings back you will fly to your fairyland. What if you won’t be able to fly that far as you have never practice, you may get hurt in the way? I will give you your wings when you will grow up! And will be able to live on your own. You are too young. I can’t let you go I will be alone”.    

I mostly agreed to the deal but always had a desire to at least have a look at my wings.

 I often asked,

What is the color of my wings?

I was told they were pink!

I had a logical approach too!

What if I will grow up and they stay of the same size?

Dad said he is keeping a check and we have been growing with the same rate.

My parents made me eat rice (that I don’t like at all) by telling me that the fairies came and made it for me.

And I ate it quietly…

I asked how come they did not meet me.

Thinking if I could have met them I would have told them that I want my wing back. And they would have convinced my father.

I was dyeing to see my wings and hoping that I may fly. I was eager to grow up and get my wings back. I always copied my elder sister in a lot of ways so that I could pretend be of her age!

As I grew up believe in the story got giddy and I got occupied in the other stuff appropriate for my age then.

PS:  Dad I want my wings back!!

My sleep swallowed me!

We all dream not just consciously about the perfect future, but unconsciously while sleeping as well, I don’t like to brag but, I have been good and creative in both the sort of dreaming.

I got a scary dream; it’s not the first time that it happened to me. Most of the time when I get a bad dream my sister wakes me up and ask if I am alright, she tells me that I breathed abnormally while sleeping and she could make out that something is wrong!

Back in hostel I don’t have anyone around to notice my abnormal breath rate so I end up waking screaming and that just happens to be wakeup alarm for my roomies!

Today after a series of unbelievable incidence, I realized it could not be real so I concluded that I was dreaming! So I must wake up now, but the dream was now allowing me to do so, I tried being calm but all in vain so I give up and took it as the end of my life and thought it’s nice to die while sleeping and seeing a horror dream. I was ready to die in my wildest imagination, the wild thought crossed my head; at least my mom should know the reason why I left her. Though my body was not ready to leave the dream and my brain was busy in listening to the shouting and yelling people there in dream some little voice inside me told me to leave a message for mum. All I wished in that moment was to grab my books or some paper and scribble message for mum “my dream swallowed me”. Gosh I did not realize that it was poetic. I liked the slogan, though I did not write it while sleeping but just learned it hard, and luckily I woke up!

I get a plenty of weird dreams. I dreams about missing my school bus while coming back from school, being lost in a carnival, shopping at the best place to shop at in dream ( I don’t know which place it is but the clothes and accessories are just perfect). Being chased by monster, leakage of LPG in my kitchen, protecting kids (from my family) from an overly aggressive anaconda! Or just seeing some prehistoric prisoners all of them with blue eyes and tied in chains (they all were looking like angles though). And the list goes on and on …       

Some of my dreams are repeated while many are seen just once. But one of the most weird is the one in which I get trapped in a large building, filled with water and occupied with reptiles (I am not sure if those reptiles existing reality or not, as I have never seen any of those creatures apart from my dreams) the water is almost on till my knees. I usually dream this dream and the building is never empty I am accompanied by other people who are finding the way out of this watered building with lots of creepy reptiles. All these people in the building are those I have never met or seen otherwise, in the end some of the heroic people (including me), find the way out of the trap. It usually is through breaking some window, door or fence.

Outside this flooded building the world is always beautiful the sun is shining bright in the zenith. Lots of chocolate and ice cream outlets are there. It’s like I am in some amusement park with awesome rides at distance.

The most flabbergasting thing is that I find my ice cream parlor at distance in the end of most of my dreams, I know the people who serve in this place, I know the cost of my favorite flavor I don’t actually remember its name when I get back to consciousness. But in dream all I have to do is place my order and celebrate my coming out of the flooded building. I must mention that the ice cream is as always yummy out there!

THE OTHER SIDE

Oh! Moon with a beautiful face.

Caring thought the boundaries of space.

When I look at you, I think in my mind.

Shall I ever, oh! Ever behold thy behind.

                               -unknown 

Those who know about the far side of moon, knows what this quote is about! Far side of the moon is the side that we never get to see. Earth is facing only one side of moon. When I tell anyone about it, most of the people don’t believe me. Infact this is true! We always see one side. It was a little sad and abstract to me too when, I first read about it in Patrick Moore’s book when I was in 8^th grade or around.

I have noticed that the black spots on moon are always in same fashion, many of you might have also noticed it too.

Tidal forces between Earth and Moon have slowed moon's rotation in a way that one side is always facing the Earth. Whilst the other face, which is never visible from the Earth in its entirety (only 18% is visible under some conditions).

You must be thinking if the same side of the moon is always facing earth then it is not rotating around its own axis at all.

The Moon does actually rotate on its axis; it's just that the amount of time it takes to make a complete orbit around the Earth matches the amount of time it takes to complete one rotation. In both cases, this is 27.3 days (approximately)

The gravitational forces between Earth and Moon cause the interesting effect.

Over the few billions years since its formation, the Moon has become tidally locked with the Earth. In the distant past, the Moon had different rotation and orbital speeds, and it showed all of its sides to our planet. But the gravity of the Earth tugged at the irregular shapes on the Moon, causing it to slow its rotation until it was exactly the same length as its orbit.

The Earth, on the other hand, has so much mass that the force of gravity from the Moon pulling on Earth can't overcome its rotational speed. The Moon does create the tides, though, and causes the ground to rise and fall (its negligible you can’t feel it but it is there)

The far hemisphere was first photographed by the Soviet Luna 3 probe in 1959 and was first directly observed by human eyes when the Apollo 8 mission orbited the Moon in 1968.

The far side of the Moon is shielded from radio transmissions from the Earth; it is considered a good location for placing radio telescopes for use by astronomers.

Bewildered

Your mother; she is perhaps the one who told you that God is there. She is the one who build the faith in you and made you believe in God and yourself.

“So, where does he live?” I asked.

He lives inside you… my mom answered.

At the outset, it was scary to learn that god lives inside me; that there was someone else living inside me, Gosh!

Where exactly inside me?  I questioned again.

In your heart. God lives in everyone’s heart. I was told this long back.

It was impossible for me to believe. How can God live in my heart? Miss Saloni (my teacher from Shiv Nikaten, the place that civilized me), told me that my heart is of the same size as my fist. Then is God so small in size. How can he fit in such a small place? Is there enough air? Is there sufficient light for his survival?

On further introspection I got to know god was “invisible”. Then why is living inside me I was bewildered!

So that you are not alone anywhere you go. Haven’t u heard the story about the disciple told to perform some task some at some place where there is no one, as told by my friend.

I thought I know god. I have always known him since I was born. I was told that, I was send by him to this world like everyone else.

If everyone else is send by God, how come some of them are nice and warm to me and others are bad and cold, when all of us came from same place we all should be exactly the same? 

Are you nice to everyone around you? I am sure that there are some of your acquaintances that you don’t like and they don’t like you too! You are bad and cold to them, someone said to me long time back.

It is impossible for anyone to be the same for everyone, there all always some moral and social obligations that come in the way. Not every one can be altruist like mother Teresa. It’s just not something an ordinary human being can do.

God! Is there anyone of that sort around? This question often comes in our mind when we find everything around us falling into wrong place. When we give up hope, then faith in god is lost. Then comes the phase when one thinks that god is just a supernatural thought created by men to comfort themselves. Perhaps it is so and even if it’s like that this does not kill my faith.

You can feel God around you, in different forms.

You can feel him in music.

You can see him in a stranger’s eyes.

You can sense his presence in full moon night.

Or in a child’s smile.

You can get glimpse of god in a wise man’s words.

Or feel him around just when you need him.

All you need is faith.

FLASHBACK

It’s a flashback form older times… an incidence and a technique that just skipped out of my mind thanks for apportioning that one with me..

I turned my face in the other direction out of woe. But could feel that my best friend was enjoying every movement of seeing my troubled self... (Huh!!)

“Okay we can sort it out … can’t we?” asked my friend.
“Hummmm… may be!!” I replied
“No ... it can’t be sorted out” I ranted as I just broke down.
“I know I can deal with it as it comes but as per now I can’t do anything about it and just can’t stop thinking about it all the time, so I am not coming with you to hang out ...”
I was just blabbering on my own
I don’t know anyone except for him ever listen, when I just say stuff that does not make sense to them, but he always listened to me even if it don’t make any sense to him … in accordance to the deal we had to be supportive to be a friend . Yeah! To be a friend all you have to do is to be supportive.
“I know sweets you can deal with it no matter what it is.” He said. And that’s the very reason he was the best part of my life, he had faith in me and my dreams.
I smiled and was already feeling better.
“Do you like hot air balloon?” abstract question another reason why this guy was my best buddy.
“Yeah” I replied and smiled. As I had no clue how that was related to my contemporary situation.
“Cool! Then sit back and close your eyes. Just do as I say” with all the excitement in his voice. I did what he said.
“Can you visualize your problem in a material form?” He asked
I nodded and could easily imagine my chemistry teacher as my biggest problem.
“Okay great, so now you have to imagine doing whatever I am asking you to do. Pack you problem in a nice gift pack and do feel it! In your favorite color. Turn and see there is a hot air balloon tied by this rope, put your problem in that balloon. Ignite the balloon and take a deep breath now get out of balloon and burn the rope holding it. And don’t forget to say good bye. It won’t come back today I bet. It’s going away …. Open your eyes! When it’s gone.”
To my amusement I was actually doing as he said and that was a fun thing to do to your chemistry teacher.
I opened my eyes and asked.” What was that another of your meditation scheme?”
“Perhaps! Are you feeling better… ” he asked or told I don’t know.
“Good so without wasting any more time, tell me where do you want to go? I think …..bla bla bla”
I did not listen what is said. I was just thinking. How does he know how to brush me up and put me back to life, that’s something only he can do…

This post is just for the one who knows me the best. My best friend, worse enemy and the only critic...

ABSTRACT

My thoughts are wild                                             

My thoughts are awesome

My thoughts are weird too

In my thoughts dreams come true

My thoughts says that pigs may fly

In my thoughts the ocean went dry

In my thoughts the stars are closer then sky

My thoughts can make things fly

In my thoughts it rained in desert

In my thoughts I traveled to treasures

In my thoughts moon was just mine

My thoughts run faster then light

My thoughts are random

My thoughts are quick

My thoughts are better then you

Crazy they may sound to you...

My thoughts are free to fly high

In the shining dark blue night sky ….

GLIMPSE OF LOVE

I always wished I may find love once

And never loose it.

But I guess love just

Likes to play hide and seek with me…