Bewildered

Your mother; she is perhaps the one who told you that God is there. She is the one who build the faith in you and made you believe in God and yourself.

“So, where does he live?” I asked.

He lives inside you… my mom answered.

At the outset, it was scary to learn that god lives inside me; that there was someone else living inside me, Gosh!

Where exactly inside me?  I questioned again.

In your heart. God lives in everyone’s heart. I was told this long back.

It was impossible for me to believe. How can God live in my heart? Miss Saloni (my teacher from Shiv Nikaten, the place that civilized me), told me that my heart is of the same size as my fist. Then is God so small in size. How can he fit in such a small place? Is there enough air? Is there sufficient light for his survival?

On further introspection I got to know god was “invisible”. Then why is living inside me I was bewildered!

So that you are not alone anywhere you go. Haven’t u heard the story about the disciple told to perform some task some at some place where there is no one, as told by my friend.

I thought I know god. I have always known him since I was born. I was told that, I was send by him to this world like everyone else.

If everyone else is send by God, how come some of them are nice and warm to me and others are bad and cold, when all of us came from same place we all should be exactly the same? 

Are you nice to everyone around you? I am sure that there are some of your acquaintances that you don’t like and they don’t like you too! You are bad and cold to them, someone said to me long time back.

It is impossible for anyone to be the same for everyone, there all always some moral and social obligations that come in the way. Not every one can be altruist like mother Teresa. It’s just not something an ordinary human being can do.

God! Is there anyone of that sort around? This question often comes in our mind when we find everything around us falling into wrong place. When we give up hope, then faith in god is lost. Then comes the phase when one thinks that god is just a supernatural thought created by men to comfort themselves. Perhaps it is so and even if it’s like that this does not kill my faith.

You can feel God around you, in different forms.

You can feel him in music.

You can see him in a stranger’s eyes.

You can sense his presence in full moon night.

Or in a child’s smile.

You can get glimpse of god in a wise man’s words.

Or feel him around just when you need him.

All you need is faith.