My sleep swallowed me!

We all dream not just consciously about the perfect future, but unconsciously while sleeping as well, I don’t like to brag but, I have been good and creative in both the sort of dreaming.

I got a scary dream; it’s not the first time that it happened to me. Most of the time when I get a bad dream my sister wakes me up and ask if I am alright, she tells me that I breathed abnormally while sleeping and she could make out that something is wrong!

Back in hostel I don’t have anyone around to notice my abnormal breath rate so I end up waking screaming and that just happens to be wakeup alarm for my roomies!

Today after a series of unbelievable incidence, I realized it could not be real so I concluded that I was dreaming! So I must wake up now, but the dream was now allowing me to do so, I tried being calm but all in vain so I give up and took it as the end of my life and thought it’s nice to die while sleeping and seeing a horror dream. I was ready to die in my wildest imagination, the wild thought crossed my head; at least my mom should know the reason why I left her. Though my body was not ready to leave the dream and my brain was busy in listening to the shouting and yelling people there in dream some little voice inside me told me to leave a message for mum. All I wished in that moment was to grab my books or some paper and scribble message for mum “my dream swallowed me”. Gosh I did not realize that it was poetic. I liked the slogan, though I did not write it while sleeping but just learned it hard, and luckily I woke up!

I get a plenty of weird dreams. I dreams about missing my school bus while coming back from school, being lost in a carnival, shopping at the best place to shop at in dream ( I don’t know which place it is but the clothes and accessories are just perfect). Being chased by monster, leakage of LPG in my kitchen, protecting kids (from my family) from an overly aggressive anaconda! Or just seeing some prehistoric prisoners all of them with blue eyes and tied in chains (they all were looking like angles though). And the list goes on and on …       

Some of my dreams are repeated while many are seen just once. But one of the most weird is the one in which I get trapped in a large building, filled with water and occupied with reptiles (I am not sure if those reptiles existing reality or not, as I have never seen any of those creatures apart from my dreams) the water is almost on till my knees. I usually dream this dream and the building is never empty I am accompanied by other people who are finding the way out of this watered building with lots of creepy reptiles. All these people in the building are those I have never met or seen otherwise, in the end some of the heroic people (including me), find the way out of the trap. It usually is through breaking some window, door or fence.

Outside this flooded building the world is always beautiful the sun is shining bright in the zenith. Lots of chocolate and ice cream outlets are there. It’s like I am in some amusement park with awesome rides at distance.

The most flabbergasting thing is that I find my ice cream parlor at distance in the end of most of my dreams, I know the people who serve in this place, I know the cost of my favorite flavor I don’t actually remember its name when I get back to consciousness. But in dream all I have to do is place my order and celebrate my coming out of the flooded building. I must mention that the ice cream is as always yummy out there!

THE OTHER SIDE

Oh! Moon with a beautiful face.

Caring thought the boundaries of space.

When I look at you, I think in my mind.

Shall I ever, oh! Ever behold thy behind.

                               -unknown 

Those who know about the far side of moon, knows what this quote is about! Far side of the moon is the side that we never get to see. Earth is facing only one side of moon. When I tell anyone about it, most of the people don’t believe me. Infact this is true! We always see one side. It was a little sad and abstract to me too when, I first read about it in Patrick Moore’s book when I was in 8^th grade or around.

I have noticed that the black spots on moon are always in same fashion, many of you might have also noticed it too.

Tidal forces between Earth and Moon have slowed moon's rotation in a way that one side is always facing the Earth. Whilst the other face, which is never visible from the Earth in its entirety (only 18% is visible under some conditions).

You must be thinking if the same side of the moon is always facing earth then it is not rotating around its own axis at all.

The Moon does actually rotate on its axis; it's just that the amount of time it takes to make a complete orbit around the Earth matches the amount of time it takes to complete one rotation. In both cases, this is 27.3 days (approximately)

The gravitational forces between Earth and Moon cause the interesting effect.

Over the few billions years since its formation, the Moon has become tidally locked with the Earth. In the distant past, the Moon had different rotation and orbital speeds, and it showed all of its sides to our planet. But the gravity of the Earth tugged at the irregular shapes on the Moon, causing it to slow its rotation until it was exactly the same length as its orbit.

The Earth, on the other hand, has so much mass that the force of gravity from the Moon pulling on Earth can't overcome its rotational speed. The Moon does create the tides, though, and causes the ground to rise and fall (its negligible you can’t feel it but it is there)

The far hemisphere was first photographed by the Soviet Luna 3 probe in 1959 and was first directly observed by human eyes when the Apollo 8 mission orbited the Moon in 1968.

The far side of the Moon is shielded from radio transmissions from the Earth; it is considered a good location for placing radio telescopes for use by astronomers.

Bewildered

Your mother; she is perhaps the one who told you that God is there. She is the one who build the faith in you and made you believe in God and yourself.

“So, where does he live?” I asked.

He lives inside you… my mom answered.

At the outset, it was scary to learn that god lives inside me; that there was someone else living inside me, Gosh!

Where exactly inside me?  I questioned again.

In your heart. God lives in everyone’s heart. I was told this long back.

It was impossible for me to believe. How can God live in my heart? Miss Saloni (my teacher from Shiv Nikaten, the place that civilized me), told me that my heart is of the same size as my fist. Then is God so small in size. How can he fit in such a small place? Is there enough air? Is there sufficient light for his survival?

On further introspection I got to know god was “invisible”. Then why is living inside me I was bewildered!

So that you are not alone anywhere you go. Haven’t u heard the story about the disciple told to perform some task some at some place where there is no one, as told by my friend.

I thought I know god. I have always known him since I was born. I was told that, I was send by him to this world like everyone else.

If everyone else is send by God, how come some of them are nice and warm to me and others are bad and cold, when all of us came from same place we all should be exactly the same? 

Are you nice to everyone around you? I am sure that there are some of your acquaintances that you don’t like and they don’t like you too! You are bad and cold to them, someone said to me long time back.

It is impossible for anyone to be the same for everyone, there all always some moral and social obligations that come in the way. Not every one can be altruist like mother Teresa. It’s just not something an ordinary human being can do.

God! Is there anyone of that sort around? This question often comes in our mind when we find everything around us falling into wrong place. When we give up hope, then faith in god is lost. Then comes the phase when one thinks that god is just a supernatural thought created by men to comfort themselves. Perhaps it is so and even if it’s like that this does not kill my faith.

You can feel God around you, in different forms.

You can feel him in music.

You can see him in a stranger’s eyes.

You can sense his presence in full moon night.

Or in a child’s smile.

You can get glimpse of god in a wise man’s words.

Or feel him around just when you need him.

All you need is faith.

FLASHBACK

It’s a flashback form older times… an incidence and a technique that just skipped out of my mind thanks for apportioning that one with me..

I turned my face in the other direction out of woe. But could feel that my best friend was enjoying every movement of seeing my troubled self... (Huh!!)

“Okay we can sort it out … can’t we?” asked my friend.
“Hummmm… may be!!” I replied
“No ... it can’t be sorted out” I ranted as I just broke down.
“I know I can deal with it as it comes but as per now I can’t do anything about it and just can’t stop thinking about it all the time, so I am not coming with you to hang out ...”
I was just blabbering on my own
I don’t know anyone except for him ever listen, when I just say stuff that does not make sense to them, but he always listened to me even if it don’t make any sense to him … in accordance to the deal we had to be supportive to be a friend . Yeah! To be a friend all you have to do is to be supportive.
“I know sweets you can deal with it no matter what it is.” He said. And that’s the very reason he was the best part of my life, he had faith in me and my dreams.
I smiled and was already feeling better.
“Do you like hot air balloon?” abstract question another reason why this guy was my best buddy.
“Yeah” I replied and smiled. As I had no clue how that was related to my contemporary situation.
“Cool! Then sit back and close your eyes. Just do as I say” with all the excitement in his voice. I did what he said.
“Can you visualize your problem in a material form?” He asked
I nodded and could easily imagine my chemistry teacher as my biggest problem.
“Okay great, so now you have to imagine doing whatever I am asking you to do. Pack you problem in a nice gift pack and do feel it! In your favorite color. Turn and see there is a hot air balloon tied by this rope, put your problem in that balloon. Ignite the balloon and take a deep breath now get out of balloon and burn the rope holding it. And don’t forget to say good bye. It won’t come back today I bet. It’s going away …. Open your eyes! When it’s gone.”
To my amusement I was actually doing as he said and that was a fun thing to do to your chemistry teacher.
I opened my eyes and asked.” What was that another of your meditation scheme?”
“Perhaps! Are you feeling better… ” he asked or told I don’t know.
“Good so without wasting any more time, tell me where do you want to go? I think …..bla bla bla”
I did not listen what is said. I was just thinking. How does he know how to brush me up and put me back to life, that’s something only he can do…

This post is just for the one who knows me the best. My best friend, worse enemy and the only critic...

ABSTRACT

My thoughts are wild                                             

My thoughts are awesome

My thoughts are weird too

In my thoughts dreams come true

My thoughts says that pigs may fly

In my thoughts the ocean went dry

In my thoughts the stars are closer then sky

My thoughts can make things fly

In my thoughts it rained in desert

In my thoughts I traveled to treasures

In my thoughts moon was just mine

My thoughts run faster then light

My thoughts are random

My thoughts are quick

My thoughts are better then you

Crazy they may sound to you...

My thoughts are free to fly high

In the shining dark blue night sky ….

GLIMPSE OF LOVE

I always wished I may find love once

And never loose it.

But I guess love just

Likes to play hide and seek with me…

MY KNIGHT

After such a long time of feeling dead,

I could feel the blood running through my head.

It was hard for me to be like you,

Hopelessness crippled me and killed me too.

You came as a knight in the shining armor,

Holding sword in hand.

The best part is you never fought for me,

You simply gave the sword in my hand.

TRUTH OR FAKE ...!!

I have always been a space exploration freak. And this post is about one of the space conspiracies, the little known 'dead Cosmonaut'. I am neither a supporter nor against this story. Well truth of fake the story is interesting …

It’s from the times of 1960’s, when USA and USSR were rivals in space exploration. Bothe the nations were up in arms to prove their technical superiority and advancement in space programs. In 1957 USSR launched first man made satellite in space “sputnik”. Then latter 1961 Yuri Gagarin became the first cosmonaut to travel in space. The story of 'dead cosmonaut' is from some time between the two space programs. According to the Judica Cordiglia brothers from Italy, Gagarin was not the first man in space.

According to the two radio enthusiast brothers, they heard sounds from space audible from a home-built equipment. These brothers had set up a listening station in Italy to tap the communication transmission between the ground operating system and the spacecrafts for both USA and USSR. The brothers claimed to have detected and recorded radio transmissions of the cosmonaut who were slowly dying while adrift in space.

The brothers have a website on which one can hear the recordings to hear click (Tracce). The recording is in Russian language and that too not much clear.

The USSR denied the brothers' claim. Supporters of the story believe the Soviet government hide the cosmonaut's death to preserve the country's reputation as a leader in space exploration. The truth remains a mystery.

A documentary on this story was telecasted in SBS Television (Australia) at 7:30pm 18-07-2008.

If you want to read more go to space hackers.

It’s really interesting to find out how credible this story is, if you have more clues on this please do send me.

On  kapoor.karnika@gmail.com :)

STRANGER

It was when I was a teenage girl, full of adventure and excitement. And one of the most adventurous things was to pay a visit to bonta (a botanical garden at Delhi university). This use to be an evening expedition with a group of friends. We use to plan on summer afternoons over the phone, meet up at someone’s place and then, putting it in my lingo then we use to “hit the road”.

That was where I saw him first a medium build old man smartly dressed up in shorts n tees with running shoes and socks, nicely held black (colored hair), with a very significant thick white eyebrows. His eyebrow is actually what made me notice him. He had a companion who more appeared like some of his bodyguard with a comparatively strong build. They both held stick in there hand and use to walk fast.

I encountered him first time at the entry of bonta, it was the only time I had a verbal communication he looked at us and said “you kids should take sticks along as the monkeys often get aggressive and hurt people”. I nodded and smiled and pulled out a stick from nearby tree. He smiled back and walked away in his usual fast fashion.

Then I started having a glimpse of him on a regular basis. We greeted each other by exchanging smiles, while walking pass each other. For few years I often saw him and unconsciously knew where he would encounter me as I was well acquainted with his walking speed. At times I use to set targets of my walking sessions by comparing our walking speeds.

I got enrolled in a college that is about 300 km from Delhi. I shifted to a hostel and my regular evening walks to bonta went a miss. I perhaps had no one to compare my speed with. On vacations at home I never missed taking the walk, as it is my way of spending time with me. Not to forget mentioning that he was always there! I could figure out he is a man of principles, rules and regulations. He always use to acknowledge my come back and welcomed me with a bright smile. Last year's summer was the last time I saw him he was growing old and week. I passed a smile at him and walked by.

I have been busy all the time with lot of things. So could not get time for evening walks lately. But now as I have ample time I started it again and it has already been a few days that I am visiting the same place a walk, but the sad part is that I cannot find him anymore. From last two days I have been terribly missing that stranger and hope will get to see him soon.

I hope he is fine and doing well, though I don’t know even his name, His occupation or anything about him. There was this strange relation of greeting with smile. It was as if I knew him and was comfortable to have him around. Its strange how I felt so secure in presence of this stranger, felt as if he was a guardian angel…

Spider Suicide..!!

When I was young I was always very fascinated towards spiders. I specifically liked the spiders with huge bodies. I really liked the beautiful pattern on their body. There was a time when I even wanted to pet one but I skipped my plan as I did not wanted to do so on the cost of its freedom.

Recently I was reading some book on which I saw a picture of a female Redback spider. What made me mention it over here on my blog is not just how awesome it looks but the way male member of this species commits suicide!!! (I will definitely call this an act of suicide)

The male Redback spider is one of the species on earth which is eaten up by its partner while copulating!!! (Now that's weird) I wonder what is going on in their mind while the incidence. The female is huge in comparison with the tiny male and the male makes the female drooling by gasconading his abdomen in front of female which the female find quit ample to serve its sense of hunger. By keeping the female busy eating itself the male can deposit maximum amount of sperms so that the chance of reproduction increase.

The male sacrifice its own life for a fatal attraction or to give another life a chance in form of its own offspring... That’s still not clear to me...

This act of suicide brought a crazy thought in my mind. I think the male did so because it just wanted to end up its life. It was stressed and had lost the track in its life; its life is going on in an unwanted direction. But deep inside the male spider knows that it is blessed and that its blood aka genetic structure is blessed. So it did not want to end its life in vain and thought that it should at lest pass on its genes so that its blessed blood should flourish...

Apart the spider do not have much option like taking poison, taking some easily available sleeping pills, slash of his wrist ,hang to death or some tall building to jump off from ..And I don’t think he ever thought asking for mercy killing...

Fair deal for the spider..!!!

The Silent Smile

I was just going through my old diary and i found this old rhyme that i had written then ..
It is from long back and i had always been very private about it.I never wanted to share it with anyone except my clique...
my buddies really liked it then, at that part of time in my group of friends writing poem was a dernier cri.
It is dedicated to someone special who may never know i wrote it for him....

The calmness of moon light night is what I feel, The whole world go silent to hear my heartbeat. All the flowers, firefly and the whole night sky is smiling at me .....

I have not complete it, cos i want it to remain a mystery ..

El Dorado...!!!

It was long back when I saw the flick "The road to El Dorado". I really like two friends in the flick they portrayed quite nicely to my so called "best friends" image!

But this blog is certainly not to show gratitude to my best friend.It is about El Dorado the amazonian monarch.

It is a tale from early 1500th century. El Dorado was a Spanish Amazonian king. At that part of time the city of Amazon was ruled by this flamboyant monarch, who use to regularly coat his body with gold dust (nice body pack, I bet his skins glow would be fabulous) and then plunged into a nearby lake to wash it off while being showered with gold and jewels by his subjects...

The stories of gold coated king grew into a legend.

These days the word El Dorado represented any place of vast riches, abundance, or opportunity..

The world is now recovering from so called economic crisis, in such a condition I cant predict which place is going to be the next El Dorado..

Lately US , UK and other western locations were considered so. This does not hold true in today's context. the world is crying for protectionism and jobs. So whatsoever place is going to be the El doradao only time can tell.

The place I consider to be my contemporary El Dorado is in my mind .. I don't prefer sharing its wealth .. ;)

Have a nice day..

trapped

I feel trapped in the crowd of emotions
Like I am standing in center of the herd of wild horses.

They are running randomly in all the directions,
I am trying to keep it orchestrate.

I wish I could quit the command.
But things are out of control.

I did not enroll into it by choice
How could i out roll..!!

I feel trapped in the crowd of emotions.
Ruined over by the wild horses

Emotions are like wild horses the more to try to control them, more the run out of control...

My School G.H.P.S. and my sweet little world out there :)

School was certainly the best time. I studied at G.H.P.S. For me it’s the best school in the whole world because it’s the place where I become me "Karnika Kapoor".

When I am sitting alone in a corner of this big-big world, I still recall all those beautiful days, while I ran around in corridors, hide behind pillars so that the most bugging person skip to notice us and we don’t get grilled with him or her, walking hand in hand with friends sharing lunch and lays, stupid crushes, royal heartbreaks, dealing with all that really helped me to grow up.

I still remember the time when we use to complete maths work in history class and when we use to laugh uncontrollably on simply very stupid reasons, hitting on the most cutest momma’s boy in the class or it be dealing tactfully with the horrible "Harneet Singh Sethi".

When we moved around with friends and when friends console while you are crying for one reason or the other, when we party at school canteen spraying and splashing cold drinks on each other and shouting, dancing and having a lot of good time together.

When all the friends are moulded into same moods and there were seasons for all most every thing i.e., sports, poetry, music, dance and even for friendship. That was "friendship day" when all the colourful bands, gifts, etc. were exchanged to show affection, when all of us had common friends and enemies too.

The time when we were eager to grow up, live on our own. I simply loved those days and wish that all those dreams come true!!!